Saturday, February 8, 2014

Caring for Mom~More about Compassionate Choices

The day after surgery to repair mom's hip, she suffered a stroke.
We were there in Grand Forks, sitting by her side.

She could visit some, but our conversations were very confusing.
As the weekend progressed, she became more and more non-responsive.


The hospital staff was so caring. One of the nurses gave me a booklet,
"Gone From My Sight, The Dying Experience".
When someone is dying, they actually have one foot in each world.
They are separating and distancing themselves from the people and events here on earth,
and are seeing a glimpse of their new life in their new 'home'.

So...it was time...
Time to make a very important decision.
Time to change mom's level of care to "comfort care".

She was not going to get any better.
And, as a patient in the hospital, 
the staff were trying to wake her
to take blood and blood pressure...
for physical therapy...
and to eat three meals a day.

So, the obvious decision had to be made.
We needed to change the level of her care to 'Comfort Care'.

There I was...standing there...56 years old...
thinking, this is my mommy,
shouldn't she be making decisions for me?

And she did, she had...
It was in her Living Will.
I needed to sign those papers.
I needed to let her go.

As an only child, I so wished I had a sibling to help make these choices.
I am so glad that my hubby was with me and was so supportive.
We said our goodbyes and returned home, 
to prepare for mom's move to a nursing home.

Take care,
~Natalie
p.s. these photos were taken during a much happier time 
when Emily, Hubby and I visted Amy in Rochester.  
There are some fabulous antique stores in that area.

7 comments:

Karenallen said...

That was beautiful, Natalie.

Suzan White said...

I know how you feel..we kept mom home till an infection set het to a rehab facility in a nursing home..but when we knew they couldn't do anymore we arranged for her to come back home and had hospice.They were wonderful and mom knew she was home where she wanted to be ..she passed quielty 4 days later but bring her home was the right choice for us.
suzan

Ann said...

Oh Natalie what a heart-felt post. I'm 66 and my Mom 87, she is still living at home with another sister but the time is surely coming. She is visibly becoming more frail and my Sis is handicapped and won't be able to handle it all by herself. Praying your Mom does well in the nursing home, you are a good only daughter, glad you had your hubby by your side.
Ann

COUNTRY PICKINS said...

oh Natalie, that was said with so much heartfelt beauty and love for your Mother. It was very much the same for me 16 years ago...so long ago, and yet, like it was yesterday. You are in my prayers and thoughts. Blessings,
linda

Firecracker Kid said...

I'm glad to see you writing down your feelings and sharing your journey with your mom. I hope this helps you get through the rough days. Hold on to your memories, and let them guide you during this time of sadness.
Hugs~Carol

Beverly...Heartland Creations said...

I know what your going through, I am an only child, and to have a sibling to share this experience, some one to talk to, might be a bit comforting. I went through this with both my parents. As long as you do the best you can there is nothing else you can do. The Hospice people helped me so much to understand the stages they were going through. Bless your heart I wish you peace and comfort.

The Moonlit Stitch said...

I was 42 and had to make that decision with my father, without much help. It's odd as a child to help your parent "prepare" for their "new home" in the next life. So odd. I hope your posts help someone realize they are not alone and doing the right thing when they have to make the hard decisions - thanks ~*~Lisa